I'm Still Here

I miss this. It makes me a little sad to see that I haven’t published a blog since September 17th. Three months ago. It makes me sad because even though I initially dreaded the thought of writing something for any and everyone to read, I have come to enjoy it. I didn’t know when I started it that it would become an outlet for my creativity.

Looking back, I can see that starting this blog actually opened some flood gates.

At first, I didn’t think I would really ever have anything to talk about. Now I know how easy it can be to write about my life and the lessons I learn along the way.

But eventually, I felt a struggle for both content and creativity. So, I began to pray and ask God to fill me with more creativity. And guess what? He did.

Over the past several months, I have slowly cleared my plate not knowing exactly what God was going to fill it back up with. But the emptier it got, the more and more I began to think that maybe He wasn’t going to fill it with anything. The emptier my plate got, the more time I spent at home. More time at home meant more time to do things that I love to do.

I love crafting. I love painting. I love mod podge. I just love to make things, period. So I try to do what I can to make gifts for Christmas, especially for the kids in my life because they always (ok, almost always) think it’s cool when a gift is handmade. This is what I’ve been spending most of my free time on.

During these months of doing more of what I love, I have felt like I’ve had an abundance of ideas flood my brain. Ideas for work, ideas for gifts, ideas for decorations, ideas for painting, ideas for blogs, ideas for stories… SO. MANY. IDEAS.

There’s just one little problem.

There’s not enough time to do it all! When I get started on one thing that’s quite literally ALL I want to do. Everything else is an inconvenience, including eating and sleeping.

When I start painting, I want to paint all the things. When I start mod-podging, I want to glue, stick, and seal all the pretty things. When I start seeing t-shirt ideas in my head, I want to make all the pretty things. When I get ideas for work, I want to do all the work things. When I start baking, I want to bake (and eat) all the cookies!

I know it might sound a little crazy, but that’s how I am.

So I have been working on all these ideas. I’ve been painting a lot more. I’m almost done making the Christmas presents I had in mind to make. I’ve rewritten the first chapter to a book I started, as well as partially outlined it, even though I’m not even sure I’m doing that right. I’ve designed some t-shirts, one for a gift idea and one for a friend to sell.

I’ve been doing everything I love to do. Except for write blogs.

And that’s why I was inspired to write one today. I have missed sitting on my couch with my coffee, computer on my lap, with a blank blog window staring back at me. There have been times when I’ve felt like a failure of a writer because I’ve sat here trying to think of something to say and drew a blank, but I know I’m not. I just have so many outlets for my creativity that sometimes my writing gets put on hold.

And I’m ok with that because I know it will always be there. It’s what got the ball rolling for everything else in my life, creatively. I know God will continue to speak to me and show me what He wants me to say through this blog.

So… yes I’m still here. And I’m not going anywhere.