#EpicFail

I know it’s not Monday yet, but my time with Jesus this morning was quite… educational. That may or may not be the best word. Any way, I thought about saving this for Monday, but as I started the note on my phone for it I realized that I needed to get this out now. So here I am.

The last couple of weeks, I’ve talked quite a bit about the fear of failure. Well it must be something that God is trying to deal with me on, because I just had a moment with Him that led to this thought…

If I could put that fear of failure to use in my spiritual life, I might be a better person.

You see, just like everyone else, I have some moments of EPIC failure. Moments where my anger gets the best of me (see Murder She Wrote post), moments where I turn into an ugly gossiper, moments where entitlement and pride take over, moments where my mind and heart aren’t as pure as I’d like them to be, and even moments where my salvation might be debatable.

I know I’m not perfect, and I’m not trying to say that I ever will or could be in this life, but this morning Jesus was using my most recent epic failure to show me that I don’t fear failing Him near as much as I fear failing myself or the world around me.

Can you say OUCH?

I know fear of failure is something I struggle with in the physical, emotional, and mental, but when it comes to my walk with Jesus… well, I don’t think I have enough of the right kind of fear. I should be living my life more fearful of not pleasing and honoring God through my actions and words than I am of failing to properly complete a project. My actions and words are what shows people that I am a child of God, or shows them that I’m not.

I would really like to think that anyone I encounter can look at me and know by the things I do and say that I love Jesus, but the reality is that I’m not sure they’d be able to tell. And I’m not talking about the Christians I encounter on a regular basis, I’m talking about the rest of the world. Do non-believers look at me and how I live my life and see the love of Jesus?

Some might. But I’d be willing to bet that the majority probably don’t. And that’s what I should be fearing.

If I can learn to live my life fearful of not being exactly who God created me to be, in the power and authority He has given me as His daughter, then I don’t think I would fear failure like I do. In fact, I would likely see failure as an opportunity for growth.

It’s kind of funny that I opened my website to write this post and when I logged in there was a notification of an article being published. The article was the written result of an interview done with a podcast host, writer and entrepeneur named Aminatou Sow. I have no idea who she is, but the notification summarized the article by saying something about how she deals with fear. I can’t remember exactly what it said and I can’t go back to it.

Thinking that was interesting timing, I clicked on it and read the interview. The part about fear came when she was asked the question, “What advice would you give to people looking to start their own business?” The response was all about giving it time and putting yourself out there and what not. Then she said, “It’s OK to fail. The faster you accept that, the faster you will get on with being your own boss. Failure is good for success!!”

Now, I know she is talking business, but that can totally be related to everything I just said. In fact, I’ll paraphrase her answer with a spiritual twist. “It’s OK to fail. The faster you accept that, the faster you will let go of trying to please the world. Failure is good for growth!!” You can thank John Maxwell for that paraphrase since he also said something along the lines of that in the book I’m reading for class.

You could also say, “You live and you learn”, “Get over yourself”, or “The best way to learn is by making mistakes”.

Whatever you say, and however you say it… My take away from all of this is that I need to refocus my fear. Transform my fear. That will be my prayer for myself and anyone else who struggles with misplaced fear. Let me know in the comments if that’s you and I’ll pray for you specifically.

Now, go live fearFUL of God!