Curiosity Killed the Cat
Last week, I talked about how much I hesitate when it comes to doing something new. Little did I know that I would end up talking about that very thing in my class the next day. I didn’t go into as much detail there, but the class was all about curiosity and how it can help you grow both personally and spiritually.
Most everyone in the class said that they were born curious. They remember growing up always wanting to know the why behind everything. A few people talked about how their curiosity carried into their adult life and how it has effected their careers, while others talked about how the curiosity they had as a kid was shut down any time it came out so they had to find a way to stuff it or shut it off.
When it was my turn to speak, I talked about how I’m not usually curious about things until they are right in front of me, like a challenge someone gives me. Another time my curiosity comes out is when someone gets a new vehicle. I love getting in a new vehicle and finding out what all the buttons do. I probably wouldn’t be the best person to tour a rocket ship, because I might accidentally launch us into space. However, if you are someone who is scared to push a button for fear of breaking something, but need to figure out how to make something work, then I’M YOUR GIRL!
On the flip side of that, though, I mentioned how there are times when I hesitate. I admitted that curiosity is there, but there is also something there that keeps me from jumping to action. A time where excitement goes on vacation and procrastination comes over to house sit.
Of course, I was asked if I knew what was different from one scenario to the other. I said I wasn’t sure, but then as a few other people chimed in on their personal experiences, I was thinking that I was just asking myself that very question the night before when I was writing my blog. Then, just like that, I knew the answer. I don’t know if someone said something that triggered or what, but it came to me like the Holy Spirit had whispered it in my ear at that very second—maybe He did.
I tend to not hesitate when there’s no potential for failure. If there’s even a small chance that I won’t come out victorious, that I won’t succeed, I’ll hesitate.
The room got silent for a split second as I, once again, acknowledged my fear of failure, then everyone started adding to the conversation allowing the attention to be removed off of me. This fear of failure is something that I feel like I was born with instead of curiosity. I can look back on my life and see that it has always been there—sometimes more than people closest to me. Which, let’s face it, is probably why I have a hard time letting go of it.
If I could drop fear of failure like a bad habit and never look back, I might have a book written already.