I mean, come on, this battle in my heart is over someone’s words! There are far worse things that could be happening. Yet here I am. Tired of fighting. Still trying to heal. Still trying to forgive. Still trying to move on.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve had ideas pop into my head that I thought would make a great story. So I’d write them down and tell myself I would work on it later. Only problem is that I almost never went back to those ideas.

The desire to write came, but I never thought it was a possibility because I had zero experience. I never wrote for school, other than research papers. I never wrote for a school paper. I never wrote little stories for fun at home. Nothing.

The way your heart, mind, and body instantly respond is usually a good indication of where you are in the forgiveness process.

I don’t think I realized that I have been in a wilderness season. Probably because it’s been more spiritual than physical. My spirit was being freed from a slavery of some kind and it had three options…

“Do not let your beautiful mind become a battlefield. Just because someone has shown you their weapons does not mean you have to accept the war. Those who try to break you are expecting you to be in fight mode. Conquer them with your peace.”

“She believed that God would keep his promise.”

I have always lived my life thinking that life was all about finding that one career that you could see yourself retiring from and sticking with it.

However, one thing I’ve noticed in these three weeks is that the longer I go without doing something I like doing, the easier it is to make excuses not to do it.

Transforming my mind is something I pray about all the time, but evidently still need victory in.

The last couple of weeks, I’ve talked quite a bit about the fear of failure. Well it must be something that God is trying to deal with me on, because I just had a moment with Him that led to this thought…

I probably wouldn’t be the best person to tour a rocket ship, because I might accidentally launch us into space.

When I am faced with something I have never done before, I almost always hesitate.

I’ve known for a while that I feel like God has called me to start writing, but I’ve allowed fear to hold me back.

So last night, I was by myself in my new apartment for the first time.

I have no idea what I’m going to say, because… my. brain. is. done.

I was just sitting in my chair, minding my own business, listening to a worship song, and dancing with Jesus in my heart. I was singing the song to Jesus as we danced when … BAM! This movie starts to play out in my mind.

So, maybe this whole “waiting on God” business is really our way of explaining away fear.

I’m sitting here this morning thinking about how much has changed in my life this year. Which in turn makes me think about how much of my life has changed over the past few years, a lot of which took place around the New Year holiday.

Christmas music just has a way of putting me in a joyful mood. It’s happy music!