Mauga Kay

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Happy New YOU!

The New Year holiday is one that I’ve never really put much stock in or paid too much attention. I never worried about having someone special to kiss at midnight or making sure I eat the traditional black-eyed peas and cabbage, because I never really saw the big deal with any of it.

However, I’m sitting here this morning thinking about how much has changed in my life this year. Which in turn makes me think about how much of my life has changed over the past few years, a lot of which took place around the New Year holiday. And none of it was intentionally timed that way, it just kind of happened. Well, it wasn’t intentional on my part… God is always intentional.

This time last year I was learning that it was ok—necessary even—to move on from things that are good. I was learning about things in life having seasons and why they sometimes must come to an end. I was learning how to process the grief of “losing” what I thought my life would become and welcoming the new that God was doing instead. Looking back now, I can see that I had to let go of what was good in order to receive what is great. Letting go of those things made room for something I never saw coming, but has opened my eyes to a future full of possibilities. Possibilities so much bigger than I would have ever tried to reach for before.

The year before that I was learning how to take a huge step of faith and say yes to something that didn’t make sense. I was learning how to trust God in ways I had never trusted Him before. I was learning that money might be necessary to survive, but it isn’t necessary to live. I was learning to go from doing what is necessary to doing what I felt called to do, even though I had no idea what that looked like. The decision I was making made absolutely NO SENSE to most people from the outside looking in, but I had too much peace about it to care. And even though I’ve had my very few moments of doubt, that decision has proven to be the right one to this day.

Then, the year before that I was learning how to be ok with dramatic change. I was learning how to process the death of a friend—which, by the way, is a completely different process from the death of a family member. I’m not saying the pain is lesser or greater, I’m saying it’s different. Family is something you are born into, something in which you have no choice or say. Friends, on the other hand, are people you choose to love and treat like family. The loss of this friend taught me how it was ok to need a friend and that I needed to be a better friend, the kind of friend I needed. It was my first time going through something like this. And even though we were already doing so much together and having fun, I think it was this time that turned my close friend into a best friend… a lifelong friend. That time was the beginning of me learning how to be vulnerable with someone. A lesson that can be hard for anyone, but is a little bit easier with the right people surrounding you.

Now I’m sure that if I were to keep looking back, I would find even more life-changing events that happened around the New Year holiday, but I won’t. I’d rather start looking at this year and what lessons I’m learning now. This past year has been full of challenges and firsts, and it hasn’t always been easy and fun. But it has been amazing. I’m learning that when things seem to be going almost too easy, it might very well be because you aren’t yet doing what God created you to do. I’m also learning that when challenges come your way, it’s usually because God wants you to grow in a certain area. I’m learning that I welcome challenges when it comes to work, but not so much when it comes to me personally or spiritually. I’m learning that growing in any area of life can be painful, but it’s always worth it. I’m learning how hard it is to love difficult people, and, as much as we hate to admit it, how hard it is to know that you might be that difficult person to someone else. Finally, I’m learning that the more expectations you place on people, the more people will disappoint you, and disappointments are so hard to work through.

With all of these lessons, I don’t have a clue what 2019 holds for me. I don’t know what challenges or changes I’m going to face. I don’t know if what I believe my future looks like will yet again morph into something completely different. I don’t know if things at work will continue to change or stay the same. I don’t know what skills or talents God will choose to highlight and strengthen. I don’t know if I’ll finally get over those mountains I seem to circle year after year. I don’t know if I’ll ever figure out how to stop expecting so much from certain people in my life. Finally, I don’t know if I’m even going to like what’s coming my way, but what I do know is… I’m ready.

I don’t know why this year is different, but for the first time in what seems like ever, I’m not feeling indifferent about tonight and tomorrow. I’m excited. I’m excited about what God is going to do with and through me. I’m excited about what I’ll have the privilege to learn. I’m excited to continue expanding my comfort zone. I don’t know why, but I am excited.

I pray that you, too, are able to see the endless possibilities of the new year through the eyes of hope instead of through the fears of the unknown.

Happy New Year and Happy New YOU!